Saturday, May 31, 2008

Victor Finds His Animal Spirit (May 26-31)

Who knew that having your very own sweatshop could be so hip? Evidently Jabot does. First they revealed that they find their Malaysian sweatshop workers wages of .08/hr too rich for their blood and then Jill announced this week that she layed people off who "have been working for Chancellor Industries since the 80s." If our math is correct, these poor saps devoted the best years of their lives (30 or so), and Jill simply discards them as if she were ridding of a pesky fly? What pray tell is going on at Jabot? Are we supposed to be impressed by this unabashed wielding of power and exploitation? Is it considered acceptable because it is women making these decisions?

Another highlight this week, with no irony lost on us of course, was that David bet large and lost large on a horse called, brace yourselves, Nimble Nicki. Yes, Nimble Nicki.

The end of Paggie. The end of Maul.
So it's confirmed: Maggie and Paul are over. J.T. confirmed what we all suspected was true through a comment to Paul about being single. What the hell? Did we miss something? Did Maggie get fired from the force? Did she get fed up with Paul obsessing over his ex, Nicki's relationship? Was it the hair plugs? The fake tan? The metal briefcase? The halitosis? We the motoring public deserve to know, dammit.

If Victor had an animal spirit, what would it be?
After spending a cool $12 million on Damien Hirst's shark, it became apparent that Victor's animal spirit could indeed be the notorious predator. Admittedly, we love Victor's facile commentaries on the world around him, especially since they always seem to be in reference to himself. And thus:

"Sharks are fearless, and inspire fear" (like you , right Victor???).

"A relationship is like a shark, you need to keep moving forward to stay alive" (to include moving forward from Nicki to bed your daughter's best friend?).

We quite agree that the shark is very apropos as a metaphor for Victor, especially given how sharks A) don't care for their babies after they are born (sound familiar, Victor?) and B) eat other sharks (Victor is a man eater in his own right). Does this then mean that Victor has replaceable teeth as well? Impressive though that Sabrina was able to woo Hirst's shark from the MET considering it is on loan there until 2010. From The Metropolitan Museum of Art in New York to The Victor Newman Gallery in Genoa City. Talk about a demotion.

Would you like some Tourettes with your Asbergers?
Adam, unable to control himself YET AGAIN, unleashed another gravely inappropriate comment this week when he told J.T. that he was nothing but a "rent-a-cop in a nice suit". This was topped by his opening line to Heather at the GCAC gym: "Nice glutes" (translation: "nice ass"). These comments are consistent with his ongoing, and unrestrained critique of everything GCF (Genoa City's Finest). For our team of experts here at It Never Ends, there is still some confusion over a diagnosis for Adam. Could it be Tourettes, or Aspergers?

The case for Aspergers:
Persons with Aspergers Syndrome show marked deficiencies in social skills. They have a great deal of difficulty reading nonverbal cues (body language), and very often the individual has difficulty determining proper body space. As they perceive the world differently, many behaviors that seem odd or unusual are due to those neurological differences and not the result of intentional rudeness or bad behavior, and not the result of "improper parenting".
(Lucky for Victor, he can now wash his hands like he is so apt to do).

The case for Tourettes:
Tourette syndrome (TS) is an inherited disorder of the nervous system, characterized by a variable expression of unwanted movements and noises (tics), [
or in the case of Adam] manifests in the expression of socially inappropriate comments or behaviors.

Whatever condition Adam has (we suspect a bit of both), let's hope he doesn't get treated for it. It is way too enjoyable to hear him tell GCF like it is.

Dialogue of the week.
In our opinion, the scenes between Michael and his mother are always worth revisiting, and this week we were not disappointed. And thus the winning dialogue:

Gloria: Where am I supposed to sleep?
Michael: I pictured you hanging from the rafters wrapped in your own leathery wings...

and

In response to Gloria being fired by Jill:

Michael:I'm not surprised that Jill fired Gloria, I'm just surprised it took so long. I mean, would you keep an employee who worked a solid 40 hours a year?

Questions of the week.

1. Have you noticed that since Nicki got her own office, that Jill no longer has an office and is now forced to set up shop in the boardroom? Coincidence?No wonder Jill's so pissed off with Nicki.
2. Does Sabrina know that her new assistant, Jana, is a murderer and an ex-felon?
3. Is it still considered sexual harassment when it's your ex-husband harassing you? Is Victoria going to have to slap a sexual harassment suit on Brad now that they will be working together at Jabot? As a serial sexual harasser, Brad better watch out. Victoria is in no mood.
4. Does it not seem odd to have Adam and Heather brag to each other about their ivy league accomplishments at Harvard and Princeton respectively, when in reality these actors have probably never finished high school?
5. Why can't Lauren help Gloria out? Shouldn't she be worth millions as the sole heir to the Fenmore Department store chain? And likewise, why can't she offer Gloria a job at the boutique rather than pawn her off at the coffee shop? What happened to the boutique? Has the set been used for Nicki's new office?
6. Was anyone else disturbed that Lily and Cane "made love" on the couch despite the fact that she currently has two roommates?

4 comments:

rhoda said...

I cracked up when Michael made that comment about Gloria hanging from the rafters. The writers for the Baldwin storyline deserve an emmy for they crack the best jokes and insults of anyone in Genoa City.

I just discovered your blog and i heart it thru and thru.

Anonymous said...

I think that, given the various GC skyscrapers we see out the windows, Jabot should move to new quarters so there is room for everyone to have an office. As it is, The Office appears to be currently the domain of Nicki, and David just hangs there to make calls to his bookie and wring his hands over his latest gambling losses, while Jill is relegated to the boardroom formerly used by Nicki. Perhaps they could lease space in the Restless Style/Newman Gallery building?

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