Sunday, March 29, 2009

The Rise and Fall of Genoa City's Perverts (GCP)

Marge confirmed for us this week (making a grand entrance from her exhumed coffin and giving us a tour of GC and its citizens with her signature Dukes of Hazard style narration) what we expected all along: that she would rather be dead than live among the dysfunction of Genoa City's Finest (GCF). Simply put, she claims that "these people are nuts" and that "they are slaves to their passion like no one in any trailer park I've ever seen". In other words, Genoa City's Finest are a bunch of self-serving, perverts. It takes a low-class, alcoholic waitress to tell it like it is. Bless her cotton socks.

Speaking of perverts, it hit us this week that Sharon Newman Abbot has an unusually large number of things in common with pop tart, Britney Spears. And thus, they both share: boob jobs at a young age; a tenacious libido; a proclivity for substance abuse; noticeable weight gain; child neglect; a preference for hotel living; questionable talent; and name a few. Given the similarities, what could be next for Sharon? Being photographed sans knickers? Shaving her head? (which would be an improvement over her high-class mullet). Obnoxious back tattoos? A "pimp and ho" themed wedding with whomever her next husband will be? Institutionalization? Whatever is next, we promise, Sharon, to be there every step of the way.

Wish List.

That the Genoa City Jail uniforms would be available for purchase. Who needs a Y&R mug?

Moments to Remember.
It's a toss up:

Nikki relaxing on a faux leather lazy boy in the trailer park where Murphy and Catherine reside. (Was that a hankie she put down on the seat before she sat down?)


Gloria kicking Jeffrey in the nuts.

Dialogue of the Month.
Chloe's description of Cane as "that Australian sleeping pill".

Jack referring to Ashley's pregnancy with Victor's child:
"Our sister is growing a baby moustache of their own."

Jack to Sharon regarding Billy living at the Abbott mansion along side her:
"It means a lot to me, you making "room" for my brother..." (And what he means by room is....)

Nick to Mrs C. when he realized it was indeed her:
"Let's hug it out".

Questions of the week
1. How can Ashley, who, according to our researchers, is 50 years old, be pregnant?
2. When will Sabrina start haunting the Ranch again?
3. Did Clint Radison wear make up?
4. Did Victor really say to Catherine, that "love is a rare and precious thing"? Really? This coming from someone who has been married 7 times, with two "great loves" within the last year?
5. If Sharon is so guilt ridden about having been responsible for putting her mother into a wheelchair, then why does she neglect her the way she does? Why is she not living at the Abbott Mansion with her and Jack? (Given that they've hosted a parade of others to include Gloria, Jeffrey, Colleen, and now Billy and Chloe- all people of means.)
6. Is it just us, or is this fighting over baby Cordelia reminiscent of the struggle over the baby in Rosemary's Baby? Are Lily, Jill and Cane actually a coven of witches, wanting Cordelia for a part of some obscure ritual?
7. How @*&! up is it that Victor and Ashley's baby will be Summer's aunt or uncle?
8. Do GCF not realize that the U.S. has an extradition treaty with Canada? Why then do they always head to the Canadian border whenever they commit a crime (which seems to be weekly) thinking that they will be safe?

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