Monday, October 15, 2007

The End of Nictor

So here it is, the end of our precious Victor and Niki. After all these years of marriage, children, break-ups, cheating, drug addiction, jail...and somehow I find myself not giving a crap. I wish Victor would go back to his flower arranging, bookcase making ways, and Niki back to her pill-popping, alcoholic ways: the two of them had way more to offer then.

I am very concerned for Sharon. Clearly there is something wrong with her hair. A short shelf in the front and a long mane trailing down her back. What is it? Short or long? Long or short? A short-long? I couldn't quite put my finger on it until my friend Jen put it perfectly: a high class mullett. She needs to make a trip to Madison, fast.

Phyllis. Prison Phyllis. No make-up Phylis. Contemplative Phyllis.
Clearly, she and the warden are attracted to one another. I am seriously hoping for some prison sex.

Far too much air-time. Please stop.

Gay-T and Victoria.
Engaged. Huh. Apparently in real life they are a couple as well. This makes me as confused as Thad Luckinbill is apparently about his own sexuality.

Tracy Abbott.
I know she wasn't in this week's episodes, but is she punk rock or what? The pink hair? Has Divine been exhumed? NYC has been very good to her indeed.

This week's wish list:
1. Larry Warton would come back and grace us with his high-waisted pants and John Waters -esque facial hair. Let's start the campaign now to bring him back, and put him back where he belongs: Jill's bedroom. If Victor goes up in a methane blaze from the drilling at Clear Springs, I could see Larry easily filling his shoes.

2. The writers would eliminate "Smoothie" as both a drink and a word in the English language. Not sure if this is possible given smoothies seem to be the only way "adults" can find a way to bond with Noah.

3. They would build a "cell" set for Phyllis. Seriously bummed out that we haven't seen a shot of her using the "head" or lying supine on her bunk.

This week's questions:
1. Who gets Miguel in the divorce settlement?
2. What type of birth control is Colleen using?
3. Is it me or did Sharon say that Jack enjoys listening to "rap" music?

This week's vocabulary:
retcon: Retroactive continuity or retcon is the deliberate changing of previously established facts in a work of serial fiction. The change itself is referred to as a "retcon", and the act of writing and publishing a retcon is called "retconning" as in Kay is Jill's actual birth mother, and Phillip II and Jill's baby was switched at birth.

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