Alcohol Saves the Day in Genoa City

Excessive alcohol use, a thematic thread that has run throughout the Young and the Restless for decades, is about the only thing holding our interest these days, as clearly, being drunk is when Genoa City's Finest (GCF) are the most engaging. Nikki is by far leading the pack with her episode-long drunken soliloquy (with Catherine Chancellor as her audience of one via cell phone call from a sleazy Mexican bar), after learning that Victor is presumed dead. Entering into Y&R's drunk acting hall of fame, Nikki rambled on about the wonders of Victor Newman without a single thought as to what the roaming fees of a day long conversation from Mexico to Genoa City would cost her. Next up is Noah, who (most likely looking for a way to alleviate the stress of turning from 11 years old to 15 years old in one summer) was caught stealing beer out of Victor's poolside beer fridge. Unfortunately for us, we were not granted a drunken performance from this newly matured Noah as Nick caught him before his lips had a chance to touch Satan's nectar... but it did get us thinking: Why is that beer fridge even there? Have we ever seen Victor knock back a cool one poolside? Never. Too busy yelling and belittling those around him, we reckon. Although, recently Victor too has succumbed to this ever popular vice. Since Sabrina's death, he has become "Hard-Drinking Victor" (new action figure to add to the collection), with even an army of tequila shots unable to penetrate his Teflon exterior. Cane's relationship with alcohol is a never-ending source of amusement as this man, who is touted as the ultimate male on the show, can't hold his liquor to save his life. Lest we forget Mrs. C, the quintessential drunken matriarch whose histrionics cannot be topped by anyone. (Like an old estranged friend, we pray for "Drunk Catherine's" return). Neil has also battled alcoholism, although, he wins for being the most uninteresting drunk on the show; Daniel's drinking killed Cassie as well as had him bed Amber for the first time (or was it that insane hairdo he was sporting at the time that made him do it?);Phillip Chancellor died in a drunken car accident...need we go on? What is the message then kids? Alcohol is bad. Very bad indeed. But it also makes you a more interesting and engaging person. At least it does in Genoa City.

Paul turns to porn.
Victor's death would be devastating to Paul, and not in that I- liked -you -and- will -miss -you- now- that- you- are- gone kind of way, but more so in that holy-crap-you-are-my-only paying-client kind of way. Without Victor hiring Paul to execute elaborate, high- billing international man hunts and investigations into kidnappings of various family members, Paul is seriously screwed. Thankfully, there is always Paul's backup career in porn, lest we forget his days as a centerfold (as hard as we try, sadly, we are unable...).

We are family. All my overly attentive brothers and me.
Who knew having a brother or sister could be so much fun? Well, when Devon Hamilton is your brother (and in this case, a brother from the same mother), the sky is the limit. Just think, with Devon as your brother, you too could have peanut butter and jelly sandwich making contests (what praytell would constitute winning in such a contest we ask?)! Endless games of War, hands down the most boring card game in existence! Inappropriate tickle fights! Being called the always imaginative nickname for a person who is smaller that you: "Squirt"! And writing insipid songs together!

If this relationship doesn't drive Ana to join her crack mother of a ho on the streets, we don't know what will.

Questions of the week.
1. What will happen to the Newman Gallery of Contemporary Art now that Sabrina is gone? Where will the stuffed sheep and shark in a tank go? Will they be housed alongside Victor's portrait in his office?
2. Is it just us, or is it a bit of a stretch to believe that Nicholas is as bent out of shape about his father's disappearance as he is, given a week ago he hated the guy, had nothing to do with him, and has been cut out of the will?
3. Please remind us why we should give a shit that Tyra is not Ana's mother?
4. Which century does Jill live in for her to think that Cane's having a baby out of wedlock would constitute a "scandal" for Jabot?
5. Should a presumed dead Victor really be a major concern for Nikki considering that Victor is virtually indestructible (you go that?!)? We believe that a much bigger concern for Nikki should be the fact that she is a rich gringa alone in a small Mexican village completely blasted out of her mind.
6. When the photographer was shooting Lily this week for Jabot, what exactly does his direction of: "Give me Restless angst" and "Give me Restless passion", supposed to look like?

Wish of the week.
1. Neil shaves his goatee, and Devon gets rid of his soul patch. Stop tyring to be what you are not. You are not"groovy", or "fringe". You are lifeless cardboard cutouts who are trying to portray something you are not by the way that you manscape. There. We said it.
2. Victoria and her creepy clown smile never graces the cover of Restless Style again.
3. Nikki introduces pills to her new alcohol diet to really get this party started.