Sunday, September 14, 2008

Genoa City: A Place Where Imaginary Friends Are Better Friends Than Real Friends

Everyone in Amber's circle seems to be aware that her boyfriend, Liam, is a mere figment of her imagination, showing little concern that as an an adult, she has her very own imaginary friend. Daniel finds it "sorta cute, and flattering" and Kevin, nothing short of hysterical. Jana seems to be the only one who looks at the situation with any seriousness, albeit, showing more pity than concern. We here at It Never Ends, find it quite concerning and believe that the argument for having Amber committed is becoming more and more convincing (if for no other reason then for her fashion sense). Imaginary friends in adulthood are rare, and according to News in Science may "signal a very serious psychological disorder". We believe that Amber should use her special powers for good, ditch imaginary deadbeat boyfriend for imaginary designer friend who actually has talent and can design Amber out of the fashion mess she has cornered herself into.

Nuts for Pee-Nuts.
With Brad's recent unemployment he now has the luxury of devoting more time to his favourite pastimes: working out, scheming, and eating the Athletic Club's complimentary urine-soaked nuts (*). At first, his quest for these particular nuts could only be found at said Athletic Club, but now with even more time on his hands, he has extended his sphere to include the Coffee house as well (coffee and nuts, always a winning formula, and trust Crimson Lights to lead the way...)

*It has been stated that 80% of all free bar nuts are have traces of feces and urine.

Colleen.
Jesus.
Desperate and arrogant. What a combination. The fact that she is sleeping with her best friend's ex-husband is a perennial afterthought for her, and Lily's acceptance of this is even worse. These people are truly confounding. And gross. And despicable.

We believe Lily should take a cue from Amber, ditch Colleen, and create a custom made imaginary friend. She'd be much better off.

Lily and Cane say good bye...again.
Yawn. Good-bye I guess until they run into each other 4-5 times a day at Jabot, The Athletic Club, Indigo, and Crimson Lights. Farewell, Sharewell, we say.

Dialogue of the week.
Victoria to her mother: "I have to say, I was really good in Dubai, and I had their respect...I know I can do a spectacular job."

Good at what, exactly?

So much for humility.

Questions of the week.
1. Jack's deep connection to his father (as shown by his perpetual whining about him being gone along with conversations with his ghost) indicates the importance of having a father for him. Given this logic then, why doesn't Jack give a flying-you-know-what about his neglected son, Kyle?
2. John's ghost's visit this week, got us thinking: Is it possible to have cosmetic surgery in the after world? If so, who would do the work? The ghosts of plastic surgeons past? And finally, do they have acting lessons in the after world? Please, please, say yes.
3. At what age should it be mandatory to wear a bra whenever you are in public? Phyllis?
4. How is it that Kevin, the alleged Director of Internet Affairs for Jabot, can claim to the SEC (with a straight face no less) that he didn't keep hard-copy backup of his files?
5. Is now deceased mobster, Walter Palin, related to Republican vice-presidential nominee, Sarah Palin?And if so, does this mean that Sarah Palin has connections to the mob as well?
6. What ever happened to Sharon's wheelchair bound mother? Living alone somewhere on social assistance without the support of her daughter now married to a man worth millions?

2 comments:

Marone Macaroni said...

You could have just uncovered the reason for Brad's healthy, young-looking skin: piss soaked nuts.

(On reflection, maybe it's the botox!)

Anonymous said...

Or it could be the snake oil he oozes out of his pores.