Sunday, May 31, 2009

Economic Downturn Increases Promiscuity in Genoa City

There seems to be no shortage of the supernatural in Genoa City as of late, which, quite frankly, has us spooked. John Abbott continues to violate everyone around him (including us the spectator) with his surprise hauntings that seem to respect no boundaries, making him rate high on the creepy scale. Not creepy in that coming-from-the-otherworld-kind of creepy, but more creepy for it's- hard-to-believe-that-even- when- someone-is-dead-they-can-still-be-a-self-righteous-ass kind of creepy. John's appearances to Jack are old news, but as to not leave out the other siblings, he has expanded his repertoire to include both Billy and Ashley. New people mean new locations for these "apparitions" and thus John haunts Billy while Billy boozes it up at the bar and Ashley while she lallygags in the intimacy of her boudoir. Most disturbing though, is despite how f*$#@!ed up his children are, he still takes the time to make appearances in an attempt to connect with them. Billy is a drunken louse who has possibly impregnated his brother's ex-wife (despite having a six month old and being freshly married); Ashley, going on 50, is pregnant and is slowly losing her mind, leaving her to make questionable choices (namely being with Victor); and Jack pines after his ex-wife whose claim to fame is figuring out which of the three men with whom she has recently slept could be the father of her unborn child. What we don't understand is why John keeps coming back. Wouldn't hell be a more palpable option?

"Supernatural" occurrences at the Ranch continue to run rampant as well, making this resplendent abode have more in common with The Overlook Hotel in The Shining than say, Ponderosa. Could Adam be an incarnation of Jack Nicholson's character, Jack Torrance? Is he, like Torrance, slowly losing his mind while confined in isolation ? What's next for Adam? Breaking down doors with an ax? Chasing Victor with said ax through an elaborate hedge maze (surely the Ranch has one on the grounds somewhere?) Will Sabrina's ghost be thrown into the mix as well? We can only hope: Sabrina's ghost is by far the most interesting character on the show.

What truly is paranormal however, is the fact that we have been watching this show for 25 years...

Irony and Cheese.

Phyllis accuses Sharon of "stealing other people's men" and "being a master manipulator".



Amber refers to the people who think that she and Kevin shouldn't have gotten amnesty as the "crazies".

Again. Huh.

Questions of the month.
1. As posed by reader known as "Hoolie", are Nick and Sharon the new incarnation of Victor and Nikki? You know, the loves of each other lives, breaking up, getting back together, marrying other people... blah blah blah?
2. Is Mary-Jane What's- Her-Face going to kidnap and torture Sharon? And more importantly, can we endure yet another kidnapping in GC?
3. J.T. helping Abbey with her homework? Did we mention supernatural?
4. How does Sharon feel about Jack having gotten rid the "makeover" she did at the Abbott mansion?
5. Has the recent economic downturn prevented Genoa City's Finest (GCF) from being able to afford condoms? Sharon?


Anonymous said...

Nice column, and where prophetic, pretty accurate over the past week! Good JT rip. I guess we're ripping on JT less because he's hardly on screen any more.

Anonymous said...

There must be something in the GC water, or maybe Gina's lasagna, that causes GCF to have very selective memories. Phyllis' accusations toward Sharon are just the latest and most blatant example of that.

Your blog is the best part of the show. Update more often!!!!!!!

Anonymous said...

On July 18th, the Y&R line of the day came from Cane in speaking to Phillip about coming out of the closet to his family: "These are sophisticated people." GCG + Sophisticated= Error, does not compute!