Crystal Methane: The Downfall of Clear Springs (Oct. 18-26)

First of all, I have to say how disturbed I was to hear the name "Iggy Pop" come out of not only Victoria's mouth, but J.T.'s as well. How would Iggy feel about boy-band loving J.T. referring to him as the "grandfather of punk"? This simply cannot be. Ne'er shall these two worlds meet. It is just wrong.

There is so much yet so little to say about the last few episodes. But is that not a metaphor for the show overall? For our lives?

The Highlights:

1. Mary Mary quite contrary.
Forget the explosions, the roving underground camera, the reconciliations, the confessions or Victor saving the day, Mary Williams was brought back into the fray through a story told by Lauren. Just think, that vitriol spewing, church going, sausage making, puritanical beyotch could be making her way back into Paul's life and thus our own! Oh and how she could make mince meat out of seemingly infallible Maggie: "So, you're saying that you work outside of the home?", or "Is that a pistol in your pants or are you just happy to see me?", or "Paul needs a more feminine woman, such as myself." I can just see it. Although, since Paul has been on the show since 1978 (!), that would mean that he is OLD and that if his mother is still indeed alive, she could require assisted living. Perhaps moving in with Paul and Maggie could help her ailing ways. Let's keep our fingers crossed.

2. Visualize this
Genoa City's finest show their spiritual side as well as their ability to use a 6 syllable word: visualization. Jana urges Phyllis in her moment of frustration over not being able to save the day at Clear Springs to use visualization techniques. Phyllis then visualizes Nick with his shirt off. Likewise, Paul urges a trapped and anxious Lauren to visualize happy thoughts, as does David with Nicki over the fate of a missing Victoria. Taking their cue then, I am going to visualize a better world where I don't have to look at Paul Williams' hair plugs.

3. Mrs. C is a whore.
Her life could be over at any time. Any second, one of those fake concrete blocks could come crashing down, and what does she choose to mull over? The defining moment of a life lived: an erotic encounter with one of her stable boys. My god. What an image. This, coupled with her being hoisted up the elevator shaft, I felt an unfettered joy, like no other.

Wishlist of the week
1. Amber's "fashion" designs and demo tape have been lost in the debris.
2. The producers auction off the rubble from the collapsed parking lot set on eBay. Much like the Berlin Wall, this is truly an historic moment, worthy of expensive commemoration.

Question of the week
1. Can anyone please enlighten me as to why it is only Mrs. Chancellor who gets to call J.T, Jeffrey-Todd? Is it because she is the epitome of "class", and it is only the declasse who use abbreviations and nicknames? Case in point, Esther the maid, representing the "underclass", refers to Mrs. Chancellor, simply as "Mrs. C".

Dialogue to be, quite frankly, ashamed of
Maggie: Guess who I was talking to while you were upstairs?
Paul: I don't know, who?
Maggie: Your ex-wife.
Paul: Which one?

Oh Paul. Are you not the least bit embarrassed that you have been married four times? How many other secrets have you not told our detective, Maggie? What about the time in 2002 when you raped Christine? How about the fact that you have a son Ricardo who lives with the parents of your psycho ex-wife and you never visit him, let alone mention his name? Do you not feel shame? How about how year after year you managed to slowly whittle away any self-esteem that your devoted secretary Lynne may have had? Not to mention your inability to tell your adult daughter that she is in fact your daughter, and that you are not some overly attentive creep asking her out for dinner? I have three words for you, Maggie: Major Red Flag.

Cause for concern.
I had a horrible thought. What happens if all of the characters follow Nicki's lead and switch to Blackberries? What will happen to our flip phone drinking game? (see post Nicki Realizes that she's Smart)

Vocabulary of the week.
Hoti: A name suggested to J.T. by Victoria for her baby...It means "restless" in Hopi. Get it? restless, as in Young and the Restless? Wow.

Addressing your questions.
Estheristhebester asks some very important questions this week (see her comment):

Q. Malcolm came back from being lost in Africa for 4 years. LOST IN A RIVER IN AFRICA. (as Drew was lost in a river in Wisconsin) and then he returns tatooed and angry..and he worked at CRIMSON LIGHTS?? and then...where did he go? He just didn't show up for work one day and that was that.

A. Did you not see the episode when Malcolm was fired for refusing to make smoothies?

Q. OR more recently we have the big story line, totally got me, moved me, made me address my own mortality- The Death Of Nicholas. It was WOW, thank you for that. THEN it gets even better with the whole lost in the wilderness (outside of....Detroit). Close to death. and then the miraculous return...Logan...memory loss...he has to deal with Cassie's death all over again...the way he looked at Sharon...the longing reflected the longing of us all. Get back together. Fight for your past. Redeem yourself for your mistakes Nick. Wrap us up in the Nictor-esque story of this lost love. and then----------no memory comes back but he..yeah, "gets" why he loved Phyllis. WHAT?

A. I think he fell in love with Phyllis again after he learned that she plays video games, is a shitty cook, and is perpetually in heat. And with the addition of prison, CAGED heat at that.

Q. Victor Jr.
didn't they allude to him being in Columbia involved with some drug cartel? I KNOW they did and yet. What? Where is he? Kansas? Was he executed and his fingers mailed back to Hope as a warning? Did I miss something.

A. I think it was actually his fingernails and not his fingers that were mailed to Hope. Being blind, Hope mistook them for poker chips and bet them away in her weekly Friday night poker game.