The Finest of Genoa City's Deadbeat Dads and Unfit Mothers (Feb. 11-15)

This blog is published on Mondays.

This week it became glaringly apparent that family values among Genoa City's Finest (GCF) have as much worth as a can of cat food. With only 2 weeks out of her coma, and a baby she hardly knows, Victoria expresses her intention to go back to work; Phyllis reveals that she owns a vacant penthouse apartment and doesn't offer her down -and- out son to live there; Hope's dying wish is to have her son promise that he'll let Victor into his life (a request you wouldn't wish on your worst enemy) ; Nicki admits to her daughter that she wanted to have her killed while she was in a coma; and Gloria continues to place her son as an accessory to all of her crimes. Isn't it time that someone called social services?

Baby? What baby?
Despite being in a coma and having missed the first few months of her son's life, Victoria is planning her return to work. She has spent all of a week with her baby-- a week with many distractions at that: learning how to walk and speak again, a wedding, as well as a move from the Ranch to the Loft. How much quality time has she spent with Reid, really? Our guess is under 24 hours in total, and she's ready to go back to work already: "I'm not meant to sit around", she claims (after all, that's what one does when they're a mother isn't it? Sit around, eat bon bons and watch, ahem, soaps operas?) Get back to work Victoria, God knows you need the money more then you need to spend time with your premature baby that you barely know.

The million dollar question.
Victor Jr., nails it right on the head after learning that Victor is his father. He asks Hope: "What kind of man stays away from his own son?" The answer? A Genoa City man. And thus Victor, Paul, Jack, and Danny have all made a point of showing little or no interest in their son's lives. Victor not knowing that his son went to Harvard and currently works on Wall St. is perplexing, as is Paul's lack of involvement in his son Ricky's life (especially considering he is currently dealing with the fallout of the lifelong neglect of his daughter, Heather). Then there's Jack, a man who definitely adheres to the "stay away from your son philosophy", as he never even mentions the son he shares with Diane Jenkins. Next up? Danny Romalotti, who "raised" Daniel by shipping him off to boarding schools while he toured the world spreading musical mediocrity. And where is he now when his son is in such dire need of hairstyle advice? Finally, Malcolm recently learns that he is in fact Lily's father, and as he is currently M.I.A, indicates that he does not give a you-know-what about his daughter. It is apparent that child neglect or rather, child forget, is simply an accepted social norm in Genoa City.

Freedom fries anyone?
Ignoring the disdain of the current Bush administration for all things French, Lily creates her own "Night in Paris" for Cane, at where else but the Genoa City Athletic Club. There she played French music, donned French lingerie and screened French movies (we were disappointed to see that it was not the One Night in Paris video of Paris Hilton fame), and tried desperately to impress him with a little parlez-vous-ing. Lucky for her, Cane doesn't know a word of French and was unaware of her impassioned butchering of the language that she claims to know so well.

New drinking game.
Every time Phyllis shows her signature insincere enthusiasm with a "definitely, yeah definitely", take a drink.

Questions of the week.
1. Is it just us, or is Nick reinventing history? When Nick claims that the new warehouse space for their online magazine is "the total opposite of every other stuffy office space I've ever worked in", we scratch our heads. Where pray tell has he ever worked besides Newman Enterprises? What other "offices" is he talking about? His office in the back of Crimson Lights? Or perhaps he said orifice and not office?
2. Why does Gloria deem it necessary to physically compile a list of people coming to her dinner party when she only has 4 people in her life?
3. It could have been all of that Kansas air, but is an all-in-black wearing Victor slowly morphing into the man-in-black himself, Johnny Cash? We could only hope. (Get it, Hope?)
4. The appearance by Pat Benatar at Neil's club this week begs the question: how has Neil cultivated such an impressive guest list of Z-listers to his club?

Wish of the week.
With the pressure of being "thin" as a Fresh Face of Jabot model, Lily embarks on a full blown eating disorder. Our wish is that her method of choice will be bulimia for in order to develop this story line properly it would require a Y&R first: a bathroom set.

Trivia to trivialize.
In the 1976 film Taxi Driver, Travis Bickle (Robert Deniro) kicks his TV while watching a scene from Y&R between Jill and Brock. In other words, Y&R is not recommended viewing for the mentally unstable.