Murder, Rape and Incest: Just Another Christmas in Genoa City (Dec. 31-Jan.4)

This blog is published weekly on Mondays.

Admittedly I have dragged my proverbial ass to get this published. Too much chocolate and laying around for one, but also there wasn't a lot this week on the show to inspire me to write anything. In other words, this will probably be a short, and not overly inspiring post. How does that compel you to keep reading?

So Sharon decides to stay with Jack after all. If I hear one more time how great he is with Noah as her excuse to stay with him, I think I will puke. Sharon's real concern should be why Jack didn't see or talk to his biological son over the holidays anyway. Murder, corporate fraud, these can be overlooked. But realistically she should be questioning why she is with someone who frequently talks to himself and when caught claims to be talking to his father's ghost.

Brad the date rapist.
Woman of Genoa City beware! Brad the date rapist is on the loose. Did you see the way he sexually insinuated himself onto Sharon? He calls her into Newman for a "meeting" to discuss a new campaign, only to proceed to harass her. In his role as her "superior" he sits inappropriately close to her with his arm trailing on the back of her chair. He steers the conversation to the personal at every turn, locks the door so they can have privacy, questions her marriage, and then forces a kiss. Does this seem like appropriate behaviour for the office? Brad is a sexual predator. Plain and simple. My advice to all female GCAC members is to not leave drinks unattended at the bar where Brad is frequently planted, knocking back peanuts in that infuriatingly cocky way, waiting for his next victim.

Incest reigns in GC.
Devon tells Neil that he is attempting to set Lily up to get her mind off of Cane. Neil thinks this is a great idea, until of course he realizes Devon's master plan. We will now see Devon set Lily up with a string of questionable suitors, of which none will be appropriate, and when the timing's right, Devon will swoop in as the ideal candidate for Lily. Because as we all know, Devon has always wanted to sleep with his sister.

All of a sudden Cane and Daniel don't seem so bad now, do they Neil?

The new inmate.
Move over Phyllis and Jana, Victor's the new inmate. 2008 was rung in with the sweet words of Detective Sullivan: "Victor Newman, I have a warrant for your arrest!" Better yet was Detective Sullivan's impersonation of Victor's reaction to being arrested: "You get me Michael Baldwin, you got that!", in her best mumbled Germanic accent. Of course, he was only in prison for all of 5 minutes until Nick paid the million dollar bail (for which he only got a flippant little "thank you" from Victor. No mention of paying it back either. I know that when I bailed my father out of prison recently and fronted the million dollars, there was most definitely discussion about being compensated....).

That's it. It's decided. I'm going to be Victor Newman for Halloween next year. And I think all of you should too. He has attained mythical heights of absurdity and it's time a coordinated army of Victors take the world by storm, and what better time to do it than on Halloween. Start planning your Victor costume now.

J.T. the investigator.
So why does J.T. get paid the big bucks again? Oh yeah, I forgot, he doesn't. That's why he's marrying rich. As an investigator, his techniques are questionable, and as we saw this week, sloppy beyond belief. Victor asked J.T. to investigate David Chow to find out all that he may or may not be hiding. What does J.T.'s investigation consist of? Going to the coffee shop, haphazardly running into Paul and almost as an afterthought, asking him what he knows on David Chow. That's it. That's all. Of course, Paul didn't have any additional information, and so J.T. seems to have hit a dead-end. Hmmmm. So much for that Midwestern work ethic.

Questions of the week.
1. How does Phyllis manage to wear sleeveless tops to the office in the freezing Midwestern winter? The heat must be cranked at Newman.
2. What is Jack's campaign manager on? He looks like he's on the tail end of one huge bender a la Hunter S. Thompson. He's now hauled his sorry ass back to Jack to see "what's next", and if Jack is ready to write his low brow tell-all book yet. I have to say though, whatever he's on, its working for him. Ben 's looking pretty relaxed.
3. Whose ghost will we see next? We've been graced with John's ghost on an almost per episode basis, and last week, Nick was led on a Dickensian journey with Cassie as his guide. At times verging on x-rated (we saw some post-coital moments with Phyllis and Nick for example), this journey would have been inappropriate for Cassie of yesteryear. Now she is all grown up, and has somehow matured as a ghost, which is strange because John remains exactly the same. My question though really is, who's ghost will we see next? Dru's? Sheila's? Ji-Min's? And will they have aged like Cassie did? Will Drusilla's ghost have had cosmetic surgery? Will Sheila still look like Phyllis in her paranormal state, or will she morphed back to herself? And will Ji-Min's ghost and Jill still get it on, just like Demi Moore and Patrick Swayze did in "Ghost"? I can see the potter's kiln set up in the boardroom and everything. So much to look forward to, so little screen time.