Sunday, March 30, 2008

Hey Kids Boogey Too, Did Ya ? (Mar.17-28)

Finding the cracks in the armor of Genoa City's Finest (GCF) has become nothing short of a passion here at It Never Ends, and this week was rife with examples. Neo-Newman and misogynist, Adam, takes a post-coma and post-baby Victoria as a slacker, an accusation we have quite enjoyed. In a way, though, Adam has a point. It would be one thing if, when not working, Victoria actually spent time with her baby, but she seems to be too busy lunching with her one and only friend, Sabrina, attending magazine parties, and making out with her husband at work. The sooner she faces the fact that she is doing a crappy job as both a mother and an executive, the sooner she may be able to redeem herself. On the upside though, her vocabulary has expanded as she wielded around the word "vituperative" when describing the combative relationship between Nick and their father. The other Newman sibling does not go unscathed this week either, Restless Style's PR guy, Patrick, whom has more personality than the entire cast combined, makes fun of Nick's "Dacron 1982 checkerboard" sweater bought by an embarrassed Phyllis. Pretty bad for a bunch of "style" experts.

What exactly is Restless Style?
Amber, a paragon of style in her own mind, has us worried that her bizarre renditions of "fashion" are nothing short of a liability to
Restless Style. Our view is that rather than offering Amber employment, the Restless Style executives should be placing a restraining order where she is to not set foot, (or rather, feather tutu) anywhere within 100 yards of the RS offices. Amber's chosen outfit for her ad campaign (where lucky for us, she is also the model) will be forever etched in our minds: a purple bodice with a red tutu, and heaps of cheap costume jewelry -perfect attire for a party in a psych ward. Other notables were the aforementioned Dacron sweater worn by Nick; Phyllis's detachable lace collar worn with a sleeveless dress (yikes) and Sharon's ultra conservative prom dress coupled with a hairdo that is looking more and more like Janice, the guitar playing hippie from the Muppets. Even Katherine Chancellor dresses better than these wannabe fashionistas, and that's certainly not saying much. And don't even get us started with Lily's supposed "couture" outfits...

Danny Boy.
Oh Danny. Where to begin?
First of all, why doesn't anyone call him Danny boy?

Secondly, Danny seems more like the owner of a shoe store than a rock and roller.

And thirdly, Danny is one morose SOB. As Danny makes his way into his twilight years, it's time he thinks about lightening up as indicated by the dour lyrics to the song he sang at the
Restless Style party:

I don't understand
I want the pain to end
don't think that I am going to be free
I can't sleep without cryin' and at times I feel I'm dyin'
when I think I've got it all together
I can't hear any love song without feeling like my heart's gone
I believe the feeling is forever,
No, I'm not better yeah...

...And we hate to break it to you Danny, you're not getting any younger either....

Talk about a downer. But for Genoa City's Finest (GCF), Danny's lyrics, clearly a cry for help, don't seem to phase them as they nodded along to the music in blissful reverie.

The lyrics to the song Danny sang for Daniel were certainly not uplifting either. Given that Danny is not actually Daniel's father, there is something slightly creepy about the lyrics, especially when seen sung by one grown man to another:

I'll be there though the years may find us apart
all you need is to open up your heart
then you'll find there's someone there to hold you
hold you you can build a fortress wall
you can swear the rain won't fall you can rail against it all
but when you need someone I'll be there
'cause when you need someone I'll be there.

Morose and creepy, not a good combination by any means.

Our wish is that Danny goes back to his earlier work, when life was simpler; a time before he was drugged and raped by Phyllis and then later lied to about Daniel being his son. And thus from the more upbeat, Rock On

Hey kids rock and roll,
Rock on, ooh my soul
Hey kids boogey too, did ya

Atta boy, Danny Boy.

Dialogue of the week.

The winner goes to a quip made by an unimpressed reporter at the Restless Style party:

"Nick's a pretty boy wannabe with daddy's cheque book"

The runner-up prize goes to a deprecating remark about actors made by Jeffrey:

Jack: He [Alistair] is a crazy drunken letch.

Jeffrey: Yeah, he's an actor...

Too true.

Questions of the week.
1. Where is Lauren's son, Scottie? Why is he never mentioned? Is Lauren adhering to the have-a child-with-another- man- and- forget- your- other- child- syndrome that is a philosophy held dear to the hearts of GCFs?
2. Does Nicki not have her own office? As the CEO of a major cosmetics empire, one would assume that she would have the corner office , especially given real estate in Genoa City is as cheap as a one armed hooker. The versatility of the Jabot boardroom is impressive. It serves as a "work" space for Gloria and Kevin, as well as a photography studio for Faces of Jabot, as well as Jill's former romping ground with Ji-Min. It has become its own character, with the distinction of having more personality than most of its occupants.
3. When Daniel mentions that Danny's new CD has made it in the top ten, on which chart would that be? The soap opera star turned rock and roller chart?
4. Does anyone ever watch television on the show? Apart from Phyllis and Nick's video games, and the Winter's "movie nights" (that happened only one time), we never see anyone kicking back in front of the TV. Do they not watch soap operas themselves, or are they too sophisticated for that?
5. Why was Victor's larger-than- a- side-of-beef leather coat zipped right up during an intimate dinner with Sabrina? Was he trying to hide his growing man-boobs (aka moobs)?
6. What happened to Maggie? Why wasn't she with Paul at the Restless Style party? Did she stumble upon another cage in a warehouse, this time manned by Mary Williams?
7. Did Jana confuse the techniques one needs for holding a seance with those used in a yoga class? (aka heavy breathing)
8. Is Jana into Kaballah? We spotted a red string around her wrist this week, and were wondering what kind of following Kaballah had in Genoa City? Is Madonna in town?
9. What happened to all of the other Faces of Jabot contest winners? Why was Lily the only model asked to attend the Restless Style party? Is that what bitching and complaining all the time does for someone?
10. The new steps taken in Gloria and Jeffrey's relationship, begs the question: is it legal to show geriatric sex on television?

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